Derpy Guardians
by Burning Fate
Summary: How two twin humans became friends with the two twin autobots.


The two twins known as Kate and Pate were on their way with their dad to get their first cars. They pulled into the car lot. Kate had her eyes on a green Ferrari and Pate stared at a red Camaro.

"Oh my god! Dad! I want that one!" Kate said pointing and standing in the back seat of the car.

"Holy crap! Look at that Camaro!"

"Sorry girls. We don't have enough money right now to get you two brand new cars. So…yeah…."

"Son of a crack!"

"I guess we have to get crappy cars now Kate." They both sat down as their dad stopped the little purple bug. They all stepped out of the car and walked up to the first car their dad saw and ran to.

"Girls, girls! Heh? What about this one? And it's cheap."

"That's because it's a piece of crap dad! Don't you know anything?" said Kate crossing her arms. At that moment, a pink and white ice cream truck drove up between two cars in an isle. Pate yawned and turned her head.

"OMG! Kate, Kate, Kate! Look!" she said tugging on Kate's sleeve. Kate turned her head to her sister who was pointing at something frantically. She looked and saw the ice cream truck and ran to it. She hugged the front of it and laid her head down on the hood.

"Dad! Look at this!" Their dad turned around to see the two girls hugging the truck.

"Seriously girls? You want this hunk of junk?" Kate darted her eyes back at her father and rubbed the side of the front of the truck.

"This thing is like my god." The cars sales man ran to the three of them.

"Hello there! I'm Bruce. I own this car dealer ship. You lookin to buy one of my cars?"

"Shoosh yeah! We want this one!" Kate yelled pointing at the truck. The twins opened the doors and sat in the car. Kate was in the driver's seat and Pate was sitting in the passenger's seat.

"I like the seats." Pate said stroking the dark old leather. Kate put her hands on the stirring wheel.

"I love this truck. Oh yeah. Leathaaaaaaa…." Pate opened the door and gave her dad the puppy dog eyes look.

"Daddy? Can we get this one? Pwease?" she said acting like a little girl.

"Uh…I'm sorry girls. But would you actually want to be seen driving to school in that piece of crap?"

"Yes." The two twins said at the same time.

"Come on dad. At our school, this stuff is hip." Kate said with quotation gestures.

"Yeah. For drug dealers'. I'm sorry girls. But I'm not wasting my money on an old frozen yogurt truck."

"Uh…Does that mean ice cream?" Pate asked looking confused.

"Yes you stooge!" Kate said smacking her twin behind the head.

"Ow! That hurt!"

"It's supposed to hurt moron. This is why I'm the smarter twin." Bruce and their dad walked over to an old station wagon.

"Now this is somethin' you'd wanna spend your money on sir. It's safe and a collectors item."

"Girls how about this one?" Pate and Kate walked over to the old car. Pate sat in the driver's seat and Kate stayed away from it with her arms crossed.

"Kate, why don't you sit in it?"

"No way. I would never betray my ice cream truck like that."

"You know what I've heard? That it's not the driver that picks the car. It's the car that picks the driver." Pate got up out of the car.

"And we pick that car." Pate said pointing back to the ice cream truck. Their father sighed.

"Bruce, how much for the truck?" He asked, pulling out his wallet.

"Well…..how about…..five thousand."

"What!? Cant you lower the price a little?"

"I'm sorry. But look at this thing. It's a collector's item. Five thousand, or no truck."

"…Sorry girls." Bruce led the three of them to another old car. With sad expressions, the girls followed.

"Here we go. This thing is something that you'll want to be seen in." Bruce said. The ice cream truck beeped loudly. Car windows shattered, the ground shook, and Bruce fell to the ground. The girls and their dad fell back on another old car next to the one that Bruce was showing them. Bruce got up slowly and looked at the only non damaged car. The ice cream truck.

"Two thousand!" he yelled.

"What?"

"Two thousand for the ice cream truck!" The twin's dad turned to them.

"You two really want that truck?"

"Yes please!" They said at the same time. He pulled the money out of his wallet and gave the money to Bruce.

"Woohoo!" The twins yelled jumping. They high fived and ran to their new truck. Kate jumps in the driver's seat and puts her hands on the stirring wheel. She wipes the dirt and dust off of it and notices a symbol in the middle. Her sister gets in the truck. Pate looks at her twin who is staring at the mark.

"Hey, Kate? What's up?" Kate turns her head to her twin.

"…..This is our truck now!" She said smiling. They drove home behind their dad. At least five houses away from their house, little kids started running for the truck.

"Ice creeeaaaam!" They yelled.

"Ah crap! We don't have any ice cream! Go home!" Kate yelled over the megaphone atop of the truck.

"Awwww…." The kids walked home with their heads down. They pulled into their drive way and got out of the car.  
"Kate, Pate. Why don't you two wash this thing?"

"We will dad." They both said saluting him as he walked into the house. They ran up stairs and got into their bikinis. They ran outside and got a bucket with an orange sponge in it and the water hose. As Kate sprayed the car, Pate washed it. They switched places and continued to wash. Kate got up against the front of the car to wash the top of it.

"Ahaaaaaaaaa…" The front of the car moaned. The girls stopped.

"Did you hear that Pate?"

"Hear what?"

"….Nothin." They continued to wash. Once they were done they had a water fight and then dried off the car. Kate sensed though that something wasn't right. She felt as if something was watching the two. She took the hose away from her sister and sprayed at a bush beside their house. Their friend Leo fell back with his cell phone in his hands.

"Leo you pervert! What do you think you're doing here!?" Kate yelled.

"I couldn't help myself! You're neighbor Sid called me and told me what was going on! I had to come and see it!"

"Get out of here!" Kate yelled spraying him with the hose. He got up and ran away. The sun was going down. The two girls went upstairs and got into their pajamas. Short shorts and tank tops. They fell asleep. At around twelve o'clock, the head lights on the ice cream truck flashed on and the truck started to roll down to the road. Kate woke up, hearing their trucks engine roar down the driveway. She sprung out of bed.

"Oh crap! Pate, wake up! Someone's stealing our truck!" Pate was a very heavy sleeper at times, so she didn't move a muscle. Kate put on a pair of black skinny jeans, green converse, and a green t-shirt. She ran outside and grabbed her bike. She wasn't so good at the whole, 'jump -on -and –go' thing, so as she picked up her bike to ride it, she fell on the ground.

"Freakin ow!" She yelled, then pushed herself up and dusted herself off before picking up the bike. She climbed on and chased after the truck.

"Stop! That's my truck!" The truck sped up. It drove into a junkyard. Kate still followed. She jumped off of her bike and ran into an old warehouse where a police car showed up behind her and turned its lights on. She turned around and winced at the car. It came closer to her.

"Officer! Somebody has my car! I need help to get it back!" The car bumped her down to the ground and the headlight popped out. Needles formed around the light and stared Kate in the eye. The car kept on trying to run over her, but she kept her feat on the front and pushed away as it kept trying.

"Hey man! What the hell's wrong with you!?" The car started to transform. Kate crawled back onto an old rusty junked car. A huge robot stands in front of her, before pounding his giant metal hand down beside her.

"Where is Lady's Man 2147!?"

"What?!"

"Are you Lady's Man 2147!?"

"….What!? Do I look like a man!?" The robot had Kate almost pinned to the ground.

"Ah! Somebody help me!" The ice cream truck rams into the side of the bad robot, sending him flying through a wall. Kate gets up and runs behind the ice cream truck.

"Don't worry girl. I'll protect ya. Dats what guardians are for." A voice came from the front of the truck. The ice cream truck split in two. Both transformed into robots.

"Holy shiz! This is gonna be freakin awesome! I need some popcorn!" Kate yelled, looking around. The one robot that transformed from the front grabbed Kate up off of the old car.

"Yo Mudflap! Let's take dis guy down a step!" He sets Kate down behind a metal machine in the warehouse.

"Let'th get 'em Skids!"

"Yeah! Nobody messes with da twins!"

"Twins?" Kate wondered watching the two robots. The evil robot jumped through the wall and tackled the one twin known as Skids. Mudflap shot him off of his brother. Skids got up and punched the bad robot in the face. Then Mudflap tackled him down to the ground and Skids kicked his head off and shot it.

"We did good man."

"Yeah man we did." They said giving each other a high five. Kate ran behind them both and looked up at them. They both looked down at her.

"Well damn. That was fast…..Who was that guy?"

"Dat was a decepticon. Name was Barricade." Skids said.

"Yeah. You don' wanna hang wit any of dose guys. Dey bad news."

"Well, anyway, thanks for saving me." Skids picked her up held her in his right hand.

"Don't worry Kate. We always got yo back."

"Yeah. And Pates to."

"Thanks guys. Now do me a little favor and take me home would ya?"

"Hold up. We gotta signal da otha's."

"Oh yeah man. I almost forgot." Skids sat Kate down and walked outside with his brother. She ran after them. They looked up into the sky and blue lights dart out of their eyes.

'Holy crap! I can't believe I have my own two robots! They're so cute and awesome! Wait till I tell Pate!' They walked back into the warehouse and turned back into a truck. Skids opened the door to let Kate in. Once inside, they drive her home. She got out of the truck and ran into the house. She runs upstairs to her sister.

"Pate, Pate! Our truck is actually two robots! And they're twins!" She wouldn't wake up. Kate ran to their bathroom and called the twins over to the window. They drove over and transformed.

"So what are you guys anyway?"

"We called da Autobots." Mudflap said.

"We came from Cybertron."

"Wait a minute, so how can you guys speak English if you came from space?"

"It's called da web, honey." Skids said.

"Honey? Why call me that?"

"Well…..I got my reasons." Mudflap nudged his brother.

"Dats cause you's gotta crush on her."

"Yo man! Shut yo mouth!" He yelled pushing his brother away.

"Don't push me man!" He yelled pushing back. Skids tackled Mudflap to the ground and they both started punching each other.

"Guys! Stop! You'll wake up the whole neighborhood!" Kate yelled. Skids got up off of his brother and helped him to his feet.

"Thorry." Mudflap apologized giving Kate the puppy dog eyes and lowering his ears. Skids did the same. They both lowered their heads a little and looked up at Kate with their eyes.

"Aw. You two are so cute!"

"Cute?" Skids asked darting his head upwards as his ears moved back up and his eyes popped open.

"Girl, we warriors. Not cute." Mudflap said.

"I think you guys are the cutest robots ever." Skids and Mudflap's cheek plates turned a burning red.

"Aw. Are you guys blushing?"

"What?! No way! We don't do dat stuff!" said Skids turning around and feeling his cheeks with his right hand.

"Heheh."

"So where's yo sista?"

"Ugh, she's fast asleep."

"Oh." Skids turned back around.

"So who's dis Leo dude who was stalkin you?"

"Oh gosh. He's a creeper. He wants me to be his girlfriend. He's so frickin' annoying. I think all he wants is sex though. I don't think he would care about me that much…." Kate said putting her head down on the window sill. Skids grabbed hold of the sill and moved his face in front of Kate's.

"Hey now, don't tink dat. You never know. You'll find a guy one day dat really appreciates you for who ya are." Kate raised her head back up to look at Skids.

"Thanks Skids." The two stared at each other for at least five more seconds. Mudflap put his hands together and put them onto the side of his face.

"Aw. Now thath's cute. Two widdle wove birdth." Skids turned around.

"What!?" Skids yelled. Kate laughed.

"Hey Skids," Kate said. He turned his head around, "Why do you have a golden tooth?" Skids grabbed the tooth and shook it a bit.

"It just looked cool on da web. Dats why I got one."

"Cool. So now people can say you're not racist and one day when someone like…oh. I don't know. Michael Bay puts you guys in one of his movies, people won't say you're racist. And you will be in all of the other movies." Kate said looking up at the moon.

"Uh…..sure…." Skids scratched the back of his head.

"Now why does Mudflap have a lisp?"

"Man, whys ya gotta go an' make fun of my lithp?"

"I wasn't making fun of it. It sounds cute." Kate said smiling. Mudflap's cheek plates turned a burning red. Kate and the twins didn't know, but Leo was watching them talk.

"Holy crap." He whispered to himself, struggling to get his phone out. He had it in his hand and dropped it on the cemented drive way.

"What was dat?" Skids asked turning around with his ears up, his arms out to his sides. Leo backed away from his phone as Skids and Mudflap went over to the drive way to pick it up. They walked back to Kate and Skids handed her the phone. She flipped it open and saw that the wall paper was her in her green bikini.

"It's Leo's phone." She sighed. "Leo! Come on out!" He was hiding in the bushes beside her house. He crawled out and got up off of the ground with his hands up and his eyes darting back and forth to Skids then Mudflap.

"Oh looky here Thkidth. Kate'th thtalker ith back."

"Yeah. But this time, he ain't goin' no where." Skids walked over to Leo as he cowered on the ground begging the robot not to hurt him.

"Skids, wait!" Kate yelled jumping out of the window and onto Mudflap's shoulder. She jumped off of him and onto the ground and ran over to Skids. She wrapped herself around Skids leg and looked up at him.

"Sorry Skids. But one rule I have starting now is that giant robots can't hurt humans."

"Yeah! Listen to her!" Leo shouted.

"Fine…..But let's all go for a ride." Skids said turning back into the front part of the ice cream truck. Mudflap was behind him and transformed back into the rear part of the truck. Kate and Leo got in and the transformers took them into town. Leo looked out the window to see the new cars that a car dealer ship had had.

"So why did you pick a trashy ice cream truck as your first car?" Leo asked. Skids pulled off of the road and let the two humans out, then drove away behind the dealer ship.

"Wait, Skids! Mudflap! Aw! Leo! Why did you say that!? Now their feelings are hurt!" Leo put his hands in front of him trying to tell Kate not to hurt him. Out of the corner of their eyes, they saw a blue light from behind the dealership building. A green and black Chevy Beat and a red Chevy Trax came out from behind. They both stopped in front of Kate and Leo.

"Skids? Mudflap?" Kate asked looking surprised.

"Whoa." Leo said putting his hands down and looking at both cars. Skids opened his door to signal the two to get in. They climbed into the Chevy Beat and drove off down the road to an ally. Kate told Skids to stop and she got out of the car to go for a small walk over to the park. A group of seven men walked over to Kate as she sat in the swing.

"Yo, baby girl. What you doin out so late?" One asked picking her up.

"Get away! Leo help!" She screamed as they all started to push her around.

"Hey!" Leo yelled getting out of the car.

"This your man?" One of the men asked.

"No! He's a friend! ….Somewhat! ….Okay not really." Leo walked up to the men and stared at them. Kate elbowed the man holding her in the gut. She ran behind Leo.

"Get in the car." He growled. Kate ran to Skids and jumped in. Leo looked back at the men.

"Hey man. What chu thank you're doin?" One asked Leo. Leo just stared evilly at him. The man stared back, until he got tired of waiting for an answer.

"Dammit son! Ima kick yo sorry ass!" He yelled before punching Leo in the face. Leo fell to the ground. He sat up and felt his nose and pulled his hand away from his face to see blood.

"Holly crap! Help!" He screamed as the men started to kick him.

"We should do something." Kate said.

"Right." Skids transformed and walked up to grab Leo. The men watched in surprise and horror as they watched the robot transform and drive away.

"Aw…..my face…" Leo groaned in the passenger's seat. Kate faced him and smiled.

"Leo…that was so brave of you…..even though you got your ass kicked." Kate said stroking his cheek.

"Hey….what can I say. Those men were...were…..crap I lost my train of thought." Kate giggled. Skids drove into the driveway with his brother behind him.

"Well I'm going home. I uh….need to rest…" Leo said before opening the door.

"Leo, wait." Kate said pulling him down to the seat.

"Oh god! My ass! They kicked me in the ass, it hurts!" He cried rubbing his butt on the seat.

"I'm sorry!" Kate said sadly.

"It's fine. Now what?"

"Should I….um…" Kate blushed.

"…What?"

"Well….you know how in stories that whenever a princess gets saved by her knight in shining armor that she's supposed to…..repay him?"

"….Yeah…And?"

"Well….I just thought….do you want a….kiss?" Kate asked grabbing the sides of his face.

"God yes!" He said closing his eyes and puckering his lips.

"Well that's to damn bad." Kate laughed as she let go of him.

"Aw now, come on!" Leo whined.

"Later." She waved as she got out of the car and walked into the house. Leo stepped out of the Chevy Beat before it transformed. Mudflap transformed and stood beside his brother.

"Rejected! Rejected! Oh yous just got rejected!" They both sang.

"I'll get one next time….*sniffle*."


End file.
